Jungle Ops 2

Mekong Delta
Viet Nam
0600 HRS


American / Krasnorussian Joint Task Force


As the two teams made their way through the jungle to their designated stronghold, the shrill voice of Lieutenant Nguyen Van Thoi was patched through Captain Dustin Killerman’s communicator.
“Hello, comrades and capitalists! *break* The first thing you will learn to do during this training exercise is to make good with the resources around you! Breakfast in the field! *break* The area you are in should be home to a host of grubs, they are to be found under large rocks and inside tree hollows. *break* If anything is brightly colored, for the sake of whatever deity you believe in, don’t eat it, over!”
“Ah shit,” said Hernandez, wiping the sweat from her brow, “We’re gonna have to endure the fucking heat, and eat fucking bugs?”
“That’s what the man said – so think of it as breakfast: fear factor style.” said Sergeant Kristian Penefiel, a staff sergeant in the 536th.
Meanwhile, Major Kazansky and his men weren’t about to go hungry – he was already getting two chem troopers to raise a rock for him. The bugs squirmed around on the underbelly of the rock, quite agitated.
“Eh… all right, comrades, dig in!” said the major, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
A few chem troopers approached the rock and stared at it for a moment. One picked up a grub and watched it squirm around in his fingers. Suddenly, Captain Killerman grabbed it from him and woofed it down whole, gnashing his teeth. This was followed by immediate regurgitation.
“What was that, over?” Nguyen asked over the radio.
“Um… Cap’n Killerman just swallowed a bug whole.” Hernandez responded over her communicator.
“HA! Typical American idiot!”
“Who you calling idiot, Lieutenant Charlie?” Killerman said over his communicator, wiping the gunk from his mouth, “It’s gonna be my knife up your ass when the 536th breaches your front lines!”
Nguyen, ignoring this, continued, “Tell the idiot not to eat the head. They’re extremely bitter and offer little or no nutrition.”
Meanwhile, a few meters away, one Private Yuri Shchedrin of the 1st Chemical Warfare Battalion was examining a little green and red creepy crawly. He said to himself, “Ooh – this one looks pretty. Must taste pretty too!”
With that, he opened his mouth and popped the little bug in. After a few seconds, his world turned pink and purple, and he started stumbling around, making weird guttural noises. These were loud enough to be heard over his communicator.
“Now what?” said Lieutenant Nguyen, a little annoyed.
“Comrade, one of our less than heroic soldiers is wandering about in a drunken stupor.” said Captain Kamanev, his eyes narrowing at Shchedrin’s display.
“There’s no alcohol around here… oh no. Captain, he’s ingested something poisonous. Apply anti-toxins immediately.”
Kamanev rushed over and pulled a syringe out of Shchedrin’s bag, injecting him in the thigh. As he did this, Shchedrin went on mumbling,
“I love my doggy, I love my cat. I love my pussy, I love my hat!”
This was followed by Kamanev giving him a slap in the face, yelling, “You idiotic traitor! You have shamed the motherland!!”
The Americans didn’t notice this, still deciding on whether or not to eat the bugs or stick to their C-rations.